Quantcast
Channel: The People's Cube - Political Satire
Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 390

People's Blog • Panera Drops the Charged

$
0
0
Panera had been selling drinks that were "charged" with lots of caffiene (and some other shit plant extract that grows in the tropics)—until people started dropping dead.

111 SbuxChrgd.jpg
THREE FLAVORS OF DEATH? The witch's brews that bred a controversy.

Although no causal link had been established, Panera—out of an abundance of fear of stockholders caution—suddenly discontinued the charged drinks. This may seem like a wise move, but Panera is bucking a profitable trend: have you seen how many other "charged" products are out there?

Sauces and chocolate-flavored corn syrup infused water.

Digestive distress remedies.

Baby formula and food.

Comrades will be pleased to know that since we sell no stock, we have no stockholders to fear, so the People's Secret Underground Bunker Waffle House will continue to vend our own, very popular "charged" drinks.

CHOOSE YOUR POISON: our three most popular flavors

Almost always cold and usually fresh: COME AND GET IT!





 

Statistics: Posted by Colonel Obyezyana — 5/8/2024, 5:22 pm — Replies 2 — Views 271



Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 390

Trending Articles